Needing some guidance... 4

[labug]

This discussion sparked something in me. My H is very like what you describe, what's commonly known as "nice". There's even the Mr Nice Guy book. As I've said before ask 100 people to describe my H and they would say, "He's a really nice guy."

True enough, but I don't think it's being nice.

It's avoidant. And it's controlling in its own way. He avoided conflict for years until he just couldn't take it and BAM-he's done. Yes, there were little signs along the way but, I was giving off little signs too. When you're maintaining a household, raising 2 kids, taking care of a dying mother, each working, building a house, who notices little signs?

I have to be really honest with myself about that because just as my issues contributed to the marriage breakup, his did, too. Has he worked on his issues? Does he want to be a true partner? Who knows at this point but I need to keep my eyes wide open.

He's a great person, and I do love him but if we R, I don't want to live each day thinking, "He seems happy, but I wonder what he might be keeping from me."

Another rollercoaster, I'm sure.