Needing some guidance... 4

[reachingHigher]

"I love myself more. I want this girl that I am now to be with the man that I fell in love with 10 years ago. I want the opportunity to go through our mess and clean it up, so to speak."

I love what you said here. (I don't know how to do that quote thingy.)

It tells of major growth in you from this painful experience.

And I enjoy reading what you write about love. True love. It calls me to higher ground in my sitch. To look at my H and allow him to grow too. To hope and pray for flowers in my garden as I prepare the soil and plant the seeds of love for us.

"He's too nice to file the papers for D ... And he's too nice to split up our family."

My H is like that too. I think he would gladly D now. Follow his own path. And more likely than not, be sorry later and want to come back. I feel like it would be too much for the rest of us to go through, so I'm willing to stay in "this limbo stage for a LONG time".

Jks, everything you write resonates with me. I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. I really admire you being so young and holding up so well and holding on to dreams and hopes.

I hope you have a good day today!