Turns out that my W's lawyer replied that the court had approved the D and he couldn't hold off on completing the divorce for too much longer. W is still quitting her job tomorrow and is scrambling to get a new one. Not sure what her plan is for medical benefits. Maybe I could offer to pick up cobra benefits until she is insured.
Yesterday she said she will not be working after Friday and that our boys should come visit her in Dallas for a week or two. By that she means for me to buy their tickets, not her. She said they should get to see their Mom and she hasn't seen them since Christmas. Now I don't mind if they go visit of course but for me to suddenly jump through hoops to get them there and pay for it, I'm not sure that is a valid request.
I have to say, my W is really not doing very well. She cried when I talked to her on the phone recently, she said she cries every night.
However her behavior is still out of bounds. My son talked to her and told her I was flying next week, so last night at 2 am she starts texting me "where am I flying to, who am I fly with, do I have a girl friend, am I dating, why am I going to HNL again", etc.
Then she starts in on how I never loved her and the same complaints she has had against me etc. Well I guess Ive had it, maybe I didn't give the proper response but I told her that her behavior is completely unacceptable, this has been her choice not mine, she doesn't have the right to talk or treat me in that manner. If she can't be nice then I don't need to hear from her anymore.
Maybe not DBing at its best but clearly she has issues she has to work out, I said even at 4000 miles away and you are still blaming me for everything wrong in your life. I said enough was enough!
I'm reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells". I can't say for sure but my wife certainly exhibits some of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. It has been an eye opening read.
I know Ive made many mistakes in this marriage. But I am starting to wonder if my M was ever good to begin with.
Ive come to realize with my wife's issues, I was never prepared to deal with her properly. Like I told a friend recently, all I remember about my honeymoon is walking 100 yds behind my W while she was angry about something. That is how our whole M seems, and to cope at the end I just started to pull back and avoid her by working. Not the right thing to do.
Now I have a hard time seeing myself in any relationship let alone with my STBX. Is that normal?
Still read this forum quite a lot. Hope I'm able to have the relationship skills that you all do some day. The advice is priceless!
