Thanks so much for your responses. It's nice to know other's are having this problem too. Trusting, yes indeed things are similar with our situations and it sounds like my two girls and your daughter share the same thoughts! That's exactly how they feel! After observing them for the past 5 months, it seems like they go just because they feel obligated to go. And yes the kooky OW world really seems ludicrous to my girls as well. They just don't get it.
I was a little suprised to find out that my girls do not enjoy spending more that one night with Xh and OW. Due to my work schedule changing temporarily they had to stay 2 nights for about a month. Then XH decided he liked having them 2 nights a week and got his schedule re arranged so he could have them 2 nights a week regardless. This is where I have to chuckle...the girls grew tired of this and started complaining about 2 nights a week. D9 finally put her foot down last week and told me she didn't like this and only wants to stay 1 night a week. I told her that is fine, but she must take this up with her father.
And that is what she did. This week D9 didn't want to stay at all. XH asked D12 if she was going to stay and she told him she wanted to come home and no she wasn't staying with him either.
I think his feelings are hurt.
I feel the girls have reached the point to where they don't mind telling him they don't want to stay. But telling him why...that's the hard part. See XH literally bends over backwards in trying to entertain them with material things, games, and just stuff to stay super busy. But they don't want that, they want an emotional connection. It's like I see him trying, but it's so superficial. He doesn't really know how to connect with them. I realize it's not going to be the same with mom as it would with Dad. But it's like something is just missing with him. It's like what I see, is him trying to do all the right things and say all the right things, like he's trying to gain all this approval or gain some sort of self esteem from being accepted, but that's all. He's even done it with me several times. What I can't tell is if he's doing it with me as a mind game just so he gets what he wants (he's done this before) or if he really is trying to still seek my approval sometimes.
I was very touched and honored that D12 shared a little journal entry she made at school for a writing project. This is the second one she's shared and what's good about this is she's writing some about XH being gone.Im glad she's starting to find ways to express herself. What struck me is she said in her journal " My dad spoiles me. But I really don't want to be spoiled".
I do know that OW was seen by MIL on thanksgiving really stoking his fire in regards to the divorce and he had his cousin right along side her doing it too. Im so thankful MIL stepped in and told him to not listen to her. I really believe it's been her that's been stoking his fire to leave me for a long time. I have no proof, but I have my gut feeling and that's all I need. Though the thought of that makes me frustrated, Im also letting it go. I know the truth, and really if XH ever peaks out of the tunnel long enough and starts to think for himself clearly, he'll see the truth too.
