I've not really been following your sitch so maybe there's some endearing qualities about your H, but from what I've read on this last post, your H's behavior sounds just like my father's. I cannot begin to imagine why you would want a life with someone who treats you and your children in such a manner.
Sometimes in DBing we focus so much on changing ourselves to rectify the complaints against us that we turn a blind eye to the way we've been treated.
Amen. I soooo urge you to attend some personal growth workshops-yes they cost money. So does divorce.
And staying this miserable makes me ask, "what is money for, if not to get tools to be happy with?" IF the workshop I mentioned (Essential Experience) can do half for you what it did for me, it's worth half your house...
Just as the WAS revises the marriage to justify their actions and says the m was all hell...the LBSer tends to want to stay m but might not know why. They may tell themselves it "was a good marriage...SOME problems but some good things too" when the reality is that it stank for a long long time.
LBSers can also simply not want to be left. (Who wants to be the reject?) We don't want to "lose the war" - but there are times
that the war is not worth the costs. Times you walk away.
Your h sounds terribly abusive and destructive.
May I assume you fear being alone or the unknown, more than you fear being in a destructive marriage?
B/C IF THAT IS TRUE, then you need some counselling Racheal...
don't put your neediness or co-dependence ahead of your children's welfare...
You won't end up on the streets if you divorce. You won't die if he goes. And don't forget the GALs. Your kids are really watching you.
Be strong. Don't spend any more of your life feeling like crap b/c someone else treats you that way.
Don't let how someone else acts, ever ruin YOUR LIFE.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
