Welcome back JB. Glad to hear that you had a great vacation with your S.
You continue to be a great example for him. That says a lot about your character my friend. I have no doubt that he will always remember how you have carried yourself throughout your sitch. What's to say? Keep on keeping on.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Welcome back JB. Glad to hear that you had a great vacation with your S.
You continue to be a great example for him. That says a lot about your character my friend. I have no doubt that he will always remember how you have carried yourself throughout your sitch. What's to say? Keep on keeping on.
Thanks LITB! My S is the most important person in my life right now. No doubt.
So my W texted me at 4:00 today and asked if she could pick up my S at 4:30. My S and I had already planned out the next couple of hours so I told her no. She asked if then if I would take him up to her apartment, about 30 minutes away. I suggested we meet halfway instead because I had plans tonight that wouldn't work too well.
Well she shows up with a passenger in the car. My S later texted me and told me it was OM that she had stopped dating at one point. My S said he hates the guy. I offered to my S to pick him up if he wanted. He said he'd let me know.
For some reason, I am not as upset as I think I should be? Maybe it's just giving me more reason to let my W push forward with the D? Maybe I'll be more upset tomorrow? Don't get me wrong - it hurts and I don't like it. However, it does up the ambivalence a bit.
I think I'm going to go out for a 3 mile run and 17 mile bike to clear my head. Under the cover of darkness.
JB, Sounds like you are in a good place right now. You're right, maybe tomorrow it will bother you more, but I suspect only a little more. Looks like you are in the drivers seat, or at least inching closer to it, bravo!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
I think I'm going to go out for a 3 mile run and 17 mile bike to clear my head. Under the cover of darkness.
BTW I did end up doing this on Tuesday night.
Gunny, thanks for stopping in. It did bother me a bit more yesterday.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
Good that you made sure your S knew you were a safe place and available, if he needed it.
Absolutely, KD, absolutely. The way I see it, I am providing the stable home right now.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
I think that like the rest of us that are still kicking around from our "generation"... it is what it is, my friend..
Yep, pretty much.
KD, you asked how I was doing yesterday. I think in one phrase it would be, "totally disgusted with my W right now". It sure helps the ambivalence. It makes it easier to let go, if she wants to let go. Am I concerned about where her life is heading? Yes, of course I am. I do still love her. However, I can't control her choices, I can only control mine.
I think my life has taken a healthy direction in the face of adversity. I want to keep the momentum going. I'd love for my W to jump on board, but she's indicating otherwise right now. I will be fine either way.
My W dropped off my S at work yesterday. My S told me he was really tired. When I asked him why he said he had an uninvited and unexpected guest staying in his room with him for the night. I didn't ask any more details, but it seems to me like OM and his S probably spent the night. Ugh! There are some days I wish she wasn't his Mom. Like I said earlier, it really helps with the ambivalence.
Thursday night I went for a group bike ride. Man, they kicked my butt for being on vacation for a week and a half. 34 miles to downtown through the hills. 3 mile run on Friday night, and 3 mile run this morning.
I did have my S this weekend. My W had asked to have him on Friday night to take him to a birthday party. Saturday I took my S to a minor league ballgame, and stopped at a festival on the way back. Yesterday we went to church, out to lunch with my Mom, and my S and I headed to Kings Island for a couple of hours.
Friday night my W dropped off my S. She parked out in the street. Unfortunately, I knew what that meant. She was respecting my boundary at the bare minimal level. She walked up to the front door with my S. The dog went out to visit her and my S came in. She was acting upbeat and pleasant. I acted as upbeat and pleasant as I could, but I called the dog in, looked out at the street, gave my W a dirty look , and politely closed the door in my W's face while wishing her a good weekend. I'll have to say it hurt to do that. I didn't hear anything from her until yesterday, late in the day. She sent me a text: "Happy fathers day! U r a great father...". I just texted her back a couple of hours later to say thanks and I really love my S. Frankly, I was a little surprised to hear from her. But then again...
I still need to get that financial paperwork to her. I am feeling the need to consult a L first just to make sure everything on the level before I give her anything. I am dreading doing it for some reason, but it's the right thing to do.
Yeah, they do seem to like to rub up to those boundaries... she tested, you... well... I wouldn't say 2x4, but... you set the boundary and she still "respected" it, yet you were at the very least miffed... so she knows she still has a button she can push...
either change the boundary or do a little more digging to detach...
That had to hurt but do you wish you had this 10sec of your life back?
Quote:
I acted as upbeat and pleasant as I could, but I called the dog in, looked out at the street, gave my W a dirty look , and politely closed the door in my W's face while wishing her a good weekend.
That's not you at all or at least the you I know from this board. ((()))
King's Island, how fun!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hey buddy yeap see a L ASAP. Time to put the business hat on. They will change into someone you did not know ever existed once the legal proceedings start. You did the best you could but keep that anger and hurt in check. 34 miles really????
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”