he called me an hour and a half later - said he was really sorry about what happened this morning. and then wanted to help me out with all this stuff.
absolutely insisted that i go over to his house and get the good bed roll and how much i would regret it if i didn't. he wanted to know if i had everything i needed
i said i didn't need the bedroll that i would be fine with the old shitty one and the yoga mat, but he wouldn't let up. i said thanks - not really sure if i want to do that
after he said i should listen to him, i laughed and flirted a tiny bit and asked so are you trying to tell me i should listen to you more?" he pulled back slightly - man, he's oversensitive!!
asked him a few questions about where he'd put some stuff i couldn't find and mostly got i don't remember and then the apologies
i totally didn't expect the call. either he was feeling bad about what happened this morning or he'd found out from s what i was really doing (and since i wasn't doing what he imagined as the worst) and so decided to be nice.
i'm beginning to see the pattern - when i'm a bit off hand, firm but polite and NOT being so nice and friendly, that is when he comes towards me. but if i'm being cool and distant he withdraws
oh and i did apologize for getting a bit hassled - said that i was occupied with my own stuff and had a lot to do, and woken up this morning realizing that i didn't have anything ready - but in a nonchalant voice which was like - i can totally deal with this, don't need your help!
oh i can't wait to get on the road and get away from this drama fro a couple of days
and btw - been invited to mil's sunday morning for fathers day lunch. already took care of helping s get his gifts ready for h and fil, but can't decide if i want to go - i don't really.
we did go - all of us there on mothers day - wasn't too pleasant.what's better? blow it off, or go there and show h my appreciation for him being s's father and the gift he gave me
ha that's a dilemma - right now don't feel like acknowledging that too much myself!!
wow, i'm in a mood her! does fed up come before total detachment?
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
