Travels My travels were great. I loved New Zealand and living in Wellington and then my fabulous road trip round the South Island. On the way home I went via Singapore to visit a friend and then to Indonesia where Joe came out and joined me. This was the first time I had seen him for 6 months nearly. It was romantic and not at the same time. I had chronic food poisoning for most of the two weeks - not really condusive with finally seeing your boyfriend after 6 months. And I had a *huge* spot on my chin (it was very noticable and I couldn't cover it up). Joe was so sweet and understanding though and really looked after me as well as letting me have privacy when I needed it and it hasn't put him off me He was a star, and understood as he succombed to the bug himself at the end. I miss my New Zealand friends and they miss me too I think as they keep in touch. I think they will be friends for life.
Coming home. Coming home is not so fun. I feel so lost at the moment. I have moved back in with Mum and Dad which in itself is weird when you are over 30 and things with them have not improved. Dad is still seeing his museum 'friend' and I am sure Mum does not know about it. He is very negative about everything from telling me he swore at Mum to telling me he doesn't like my nephew to this morning upsetting me by saying 'God you look a mess'. It isn't fun and is really upsetting. I dscussed it with my sister and we both agreed that my father is un-talkable to and that we are going to approach my Mum and ask her if she needs anything. We are going to have another discussion next wek about it.
I have no idea what to do about jobs. I really wanted to try and find out what I want to do and I just don't know. I don't seem to be able to see the wood from the trees and when I try and put my mind to it something happens like a comment or a thought that just sends my brain into a weird fuzz. I hate not working as it is so boring.
Our house got burgled last weekend and they took all my jewellery. Trinkets and things I had collected from over the years, my wedding and engagement rings, jewllery from my grandmother and another lady who was like my grandmother, it has left me feeling quite bereft.
I kind of have a vague plan in my head that I would like to move away from London to a smaller town and make new friends and a new life, I am thinking about Oxford or down in Devon and Cornwall. It is just I don't know where to start when I have no money. It feels like when I was away I could start somewhere fresh and just get a job and find my way but here there seems to be so many obstacles.
I am being pathetic but thereis just so much going on in my head I can't seem to start. Or there is nothing going on in my head and I can't seem to start.
I miss Joe too, he is home and in the same boat but I can't see it as there is no way my parents would be happy me having a boyfriend to stay and it is very difficult at his. Plus the fact that neither of us have any money.
I am not uhappy to be back in England again. It just feels like an impossible task to start my life. Although I really should be used to it by now.
He was a star, and understood as he succombed to the bug himself at the end. I miss my New Zealand friends and they miss me too I think as they keep in touch. I think they will be friends for life.