So I was expecting the W to react to finding out about my trip out of town. I guess she has done it, but it doesn't bother me.
Since the separation, she has always come to my house to get the Ds on her days. She would spend a few hours at my place catching up with the cats and dog and then go back to her apartment. I can drive by her apartment on my way to work in the morning and have always offered to save her the trip of picking up the Ds. She always refused. I knew the OM was spending nights at her apartment and I guess she respected my boundary of the OM not being around my Ds.
After my W got upset about my trip, she decided I should bring the Ds to her. Of course the OM's car is there. Is this supposed to make me upset?
My M is dead. I can accept that now. It doesn't mean I am giving up on my W, but what we had is dead and gone. If we reconcile, it will be a new R and M. There are too many issues we will have to work on.
I can honestly say I am in a good place. I don't spend all day thinking about my W. I could care less about OM.
The OM is starting to become old news. She has been with him long enough that he isn't new anymore. She knows what he is.
Me, I am a new person. I am better than I used to be. When I went swimming the the Ds at the W's apartment the other day, I caught her watching me take off my shirt. The body I have now is dramatically different than when we were together. I am wearing clothes the W has never seen me wear or I haven't worn in a long time because of the weight gain. I can see how my changes are being noticed.
I am going to continue to GAL and become someone only a fool would leave. I do it for me and noone else. I enjoy the new me. I look back at the old me sitting on the couch like a blob. Laying on the couch watching TV until late at night because I was too depressed. I didn't like myself and that affected our sex life because I was embarrassed to be naked.
It is important to learn from our mistakes. I made a ton of mistakes in our M. I might not have my W now, but the changes I have made make me happy and I will continue on my path.
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
