It's an Opportunity for ME!

[needgrace]

Hi Brit,

Love the reference to shovelgate.. LOL.

I wonder though if the things we are recognizing and not liking about our spouses are the flip side of the things we do like and the reasons we fell in love with them. I believe that everyone's best qualities are linked to the things they struggle with..

it makes more sense now to remember the flip side, the things we don't like as we try to detach..

but the reason we still feel so much when we have contact is that we are reminded of the good qualities and times, even though we don't want to right now..

i know that whenever i hear from W, (even the small two one emails) i focus on the negative of how she says things and it reinforces the things I don't like about her,

but then, without a conscious effort, after the contact ends, I feel sad and miss her....

which makes me feel crazy bc I have just focused all this attention on her negatives...how could i feel this for someone I just thought was so horrible..sounds awfully masochistic

but I think my heart knows what my mind doesn't want to admit, that she is both.