I guess the point I was trying to make gets back to the beginner's mind - if we see things as a part of their personality, we believe it can't change. If we re-frame it as a habit, we see that it could change. Maybe if you mention offhand in a breezy way that you heard he did X, that's cool, so that you show you don't have an issue in it, he wouldn't say it in a pouty voice or think you'll be upset if you hear anything about his life. Does that make sense?
