So, the way I read this stuff about the shovel, it sounds more like he is a people pleaser and doesn't want anyone to get upset to he says what he thinks they want to hear rather than the truth but it's not for nefarious purposes. That is, it's not thoughtless lack of integrity. H used to do this too - tell me a partial/incomplete truth because he thought I'd get upset at the whole truth when in reality I was more upset that he didn't just tell me the whole truth. I think it's a fixer/control issue but comes across as an integrity issue but the roots are actually deeper.
Heh - I initially typed "depper" and had a Johnny Depp moment.
