so I have been advised to get my wife to be my friend (which she says she wants for the kids sake) and work on her being my Best friend over time... I have NO idea how to go about doing that... I have gotten the same tidbits that many others have gotten as well... "it's not you it's me" "I don't want to give you hope, that would be cruel, but I can't afford a divorce" "just want to be your friend" but I keep going back to the fact that she slipped up and said she loved me yesterday... now I'm afraid she will be even more guarded when talking to me... and I'm scared to death that she will meet someone else while I'm trying to be her friend... this is endlessly confusing...
M:40 W:31 S:8 S:5 D:8(prev. relationship) Bomb dropped: 5/10/12 It's not you it's me MO: 6/1/12 T:14 M:9
I also found it weird that she didn't want me to come and get the boys from her at the church (where she works part time) instead I'm meeting her 3 blocks from church at grocery store parking lot... is she hiding the fact that we're separated on purpose..? if so, what does that mean..? or am I over analyzing again...? lol... who knows...
M:40 W:31 S:8 S:5 D:8(prev. relationship) Bomb dropped: 5/10/12 It's not you it's me MO: 6/1/12 T:14 M:9
Kind of a down day today. Still moving forward though. I think what bothers me is W told me she was going out tonight. She seems to not be struggling at all and I'm struggling with everything. Very hard. Doing my best to keep the faith and believe this will work in time. Time perception still giving me fits. Oh well. Boys are with me till Saturday morning. Going to enjoy them and try to be a great dad.
M:40 W:31 S:8 S:5 D:8(prev. relationship) Bomb dropped: 5/10/12 It's not you it's me MO: 6/1/12 T:14 M:9
Shes the walk away, she won't struggle, she still knows your the safety net... same scenario with me... I'm trying to cut the ropes on the net, but its hard, easy to tell others what to do though....
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
Brother you sound just like me. Us fireman want things done now, but this is something we have no control over. We also don't have the best patients. It's kinda like a Haz-mat incident, we rush to get there, then we have to [censored] back and wait for other things to be done first and wait on the Haz-Mat team. My W did the ILU slip 5 months after the bomb, that night I thought, she still does, it wouldn't slip this far into it. The next day in C she said she was done trying. You are going to go threw a lot of emotions for a while, I'm just now getting control of mine, still have days. The best thing is deatching and GAL, it's made me feel better and has made her take notice. She even ask people sometimes what I'm doing. Stay safe brother!
ME 31 / W 29 M 7 / T 13 S 3 / S 5 NOT HAPPY 11/11 BOMB 12/27/11 MOVED OUT 2/12 THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR HER 5/14/12 W Files D 6/24/12
thanks, you're absolutely right, patience is the hardest thing for us fixers... I messed up tonight because of it... she said she was going to be out with a friend tonight, and I'm so scared that she's going to meet someone else, that I txted the friend and asked if she was with W... apparently, she let W know cause she texted me right after and asked what was going on.. Dang it... curse my insecurities...
I wish I could get a life, I have the kids nearly every night that I'm not working... I love being a dad and I love my kids, but I can't GAL when I have them with me all the time so she can work and do what she wants...
man, did I mess up... I love her so much I can't seem to detach... eating me up...
M:40 W:31 S:8 S:5 D:8(prev. relationship) Bomb dropped: 5/10/12 It's not you it's me MO: 6/1/12 T:14 M:9
Hey, don't beat yourself up. That was pretty mild in the scope of things. My mother once went to a Halloween party disguised in a Miss Piggy costume in order to watch her husband flirt with other girls all night. He never recognized her. Needless to say, their marriage didn't last for a variety of reasons
Someone here changed their S name in their phone to Don't Call, maybe you should do that with S and her friends.
Put yourself in your W's shoes, if you had wanted the Sep, no longer wanted to be M to her and you went out and she texted your friend what would you think?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
