Antonia, I'm sorry your find yourself in this situation.

Just a couple of things, if I may.

You might want to change your mindset regarding feeling like you can change someone or their behavior. It really is not for you to do.

And I do believe that you can put yourself first and still have compassion for someone else.

I think one of the ways you do that is to fully accept the person for who they are - warts and all.

So, you set some boundarties. Good for you.

That doesnt mean you cannot still have him in your life. It just means that you care enough to allow him to walk his own journey.

And that you realize you are still walking your own.

Follow your gut, A. Not what others in your life tell you. Your life, your gut.