As you read over everyone's story, there seems to be a lot of similarities, as you have noted here. They seem to try to convince themselves that you're the problem. And when that starts to slip, they push your buttons so that they can feel that again, they're making the right decisions. When we detach, when we stop being part of their justification, I think that's when they begin to start their journey. It may take a long time for them to work thru it, but I think it's largely up to us when they start.
I have heard so many of the same things other people mention. The false hope discussion has happened to me many times...."I don't know if I'm hurting you more by making you feel there's hope, or by leaving...I don't want to hurt you, but I'm confused." While the details of everyone's sitch are different, there are so many things that are the same.
There's some excellent pieces of advice in this thread, and it's always nice to hear a success, or near success story. Keep up the good work!
