We lost the spark. How do I live with this guilt?

[labug]

Expect mornings to be bad for awhile. Get a new morning routine, that doesn't include laying in bed ruminating.

I get right out of bed and do yoga.

[sophiedaphne]

Thanks, everyone.

When I went to go to work, I saw that my husband had moved my car from halfway across the parking lot to right in front of the apartment. I just sent him an email saying, "You moved my car! Thanks so much. There was a huge puddle, and it was nice to not have to wade through it, haha. I really appreciate it. -sophiedaphne" I hope that's ok. It was a really nice gesture, although he would have done it regardless of the situation.

[sophiedaphne]

He wrote me back to say "You're welcome. My feet were already soaked from walking to my car, so I figured I'd move yours while I was there."

I wrote back and apologized that his feet had gotten so wet, and that I hadn't realized that it was supposed to rain today (I'm probably talking to much here, I think, but I wanted to make it casual). I then sent him a second email because he had went to a friend's house two nights ago and had brought me back a piece of pie that he thought I would like, so I just wanted to let him know that I ate it for breakfast and that it was great, and that he should thank his friend for me.

I probably didn't need to write all of this stuff. But I know I haven't been appreciative in the past for the things he has gone out of his way to do, and I just feel the need to thank him and show him that I'm acknowledging this stuff, sincerely.

[sophiedaphne]

After reading through the archives, I am not questioning if going to marriage counseling is a good idea tonight. Help!!

[sophiedaphne]

I mean, "now" and not "not."

[labug]

Just sit quietly and listen. Say as little as you can get away with because you are so fragile right now you go into self-destruct very easily.

When you want to say something or feel yourself getting emotional try to calm yourself with breathing. Google square breathing and practice it today.

[sophiedaphne]

Hi Labug, thanks so much.

Do you think I properly handled our email conversation earlier? Or did I maybe say too much?

[labug]

Next time, just text "Thanks, I appreciate you moving the car" and leave it.

[sophiedaphne]

Ok. So chit chatting is kind of a no-no? I just wanted to come across as friendly and not pushy or anything like that. Just, like, a normal conversation. But I don't know what I'm doing, so maybe that's the wrong thing to do!

[LIO]

Chit chatting = no

It's pursuing, and I'm guilty of that too. It's going to be difficult sometimes, but labugs response is succinct!
If you think you say too much, then you did. We do that because we are looking for a sign, or something to grasp onto - a connection. With that comes expectations of their response, and then your feelings about that.