H has been talking to his dad everyday since Saturday. They are supposed to meet up on Saturday. H and I talked last night and he said his dad keeps saying he missed him and is excited about seeing him this weekend. (His dad has never said anything remotely close to that or even I love you) H is excited too, and admitted a little anxious and nervous.
I'm glad they are going to get together and catch up, and hopefully resolve their issues. H keeps saying everybody makes mistakes, they can't change the past, and they will just try to move on from here. Every time he says that I want to ask him why he doesn't offer me the same kindness? Why am I not allowed to make a mistake (and believe me, I've made plenty)? Why can't he see that no we can't change the past, but we can have an even better future? I'm angry and scared that I'm not getting that second chance. But I know I can't control what H does. And this doesn't change how I'm living my life right now. It just isn't feeling very good right now.
H's dad is on wife #3. He's the type to tell H to do whatever makes him happy, and then finance the set-up of his new place. I know how I'm feeling is based on fear of losing H for good. I'm working through it, and all kinds of stuff is coming up. DB has been so good for me. I'm really learning who I am.
