I'm glad that you liked it jks. Sometimes I have a difficult time articulating my thoughts.
Originally Posted By: MrD
LITB, I'm reading you threads and thought I'd say, great work! My prayers are with you!
I appreciate it MrD.
UPDATE: Time for a short update now that my W and I have entered the piecing stage. As J3B suggested, my next thread will be in the piecing forum.
My W has taken the bull by the horns. She begins IC next Wednesday. The best part of that thus far is that she is doing it without me saying a word. We both realize our mistakes and that we need to continuously work on ourselves and our relationship.
We plan on attending Retrouvaille at the beginning of September. It is a bit of a logistical challenge at the moment as we live 1100 miles apart. I am currently working to get that resolved. I had interviewed for a position with a company in NM during my last visit. It looks like we might be able to work something out soon. My hope is that I will be able to move in 2 weeks when my W comes out to visit. That would be perfect.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
She gave me the "false hope" speech on several occasions.
Oh yeah, that's a popular one! My DB coach put it like this - they are convincing themselves of this more than they are trying to tell you that. If they didn't feel any glimmer of hope at all, they wouldn't have any hope to try to squash.
As you read over everyone's story, there seems to be a lot of similarities, as you have noted here. They seem to try to convince themselves that you're the problem. And when that starts to slip, they push your buttons so that they can feel that again, they're making the right decisions. When we detach, when we stop being part of their justification, I think that's when they begin to start their journey. It may take a long time for them to work thru it, but I think it's largely up to us when they start.
I have heard so many of the same things other people mention. The false hope discussion has happened to me many times...."I don't know if I'm hurting you more by making you feel there's hope, or by leaving...I don't want to hurt you, but I'm confused." While the details of everyone's sitch are different, there are so many things that are the same.
There's some excellent pieces of advice in this thread, and it's always nice to hear a success, or near success story. Keep up the good work!
Please when you switch forums, let us know the title so we can follow you. Thanks. I always look forward to reading your post and taking your advice. I want to be like you.
ME 31 / W 29 M 7 / T 13 S 3 / S 5 NOT HAPPY 11/11 BOMB 12/27/11 MOVED OUT 2/12 THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR HER 5/14/12 W Files D 6/24/12
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I too would like to keep following your story, and hope something similar is in the offing in my world!!
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
