W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P3

[Snowman]

Mr Bond-I agree with your suggestion. I was preparing myself to confront my W this last weekend when my S feel ill with a bad stomach flu that ended him up in Instacare with an IV for fluids and they left the IV in for another day to come back for a check-up. The poor guy had the worst flu I have seen in a long time. He is better now but I didn't want to add drama to a tough situation of my W and I juggling a very sick kid.

That being said I will be confronting her as this apologizing with all her heart crap and then continuing to string me along and not taking any action has to stop.

In the meantime I have listened to the entire audio book of No More Mr. Nice Guy and I got to say I'm a fit for what the nice guy is. I'm not going to try and explain the whole book here but it explains a lot for myself and my behaviors including the controlling behavior. It's not a controlling behavior in a way to manipulate my W or do something bad rather it is to always make sure she is happy and not put myself first. This also created resentment and frustration along with many other feelings. I was so focused on making my W happy that I couldn't even make myself happy or do things for me. I would recommend this book to the many nice guys out there and there are many. The book doesn't preach to become a jerk rather the complete opposite, it teaches to take care of yourself in a way men should that ultimately is better for all.

Anyway enough of that explanation, its time for me to stop pacifying my W and letting her say one thing and do another. The last meeting we had felt more like she used me to just hang out with our S more than anything. When I simply asked her if we were meeting with our s or not she said with our S, I miss him and then of course ignores all conversation by using him as a buffer. Then when she has him there are no meetings or communication about just hanging out or talk of things. This maybe score keeping but from my end it is just not acceptable.

I'm going to ask her what she meant by her apology and seriously wanting to go to counseling. I will respond depending on what she has to say and simply state in a calm manner what I want and that is to work on our relationship in counseling as we discussed. If she makes up more lame excuses than its time to choose, work on our marriage to see where it takes us as she states she wants to or go with the other guys she is courting.

I seriously need to do this as I can't continue to be the Mr. Nice Guy anymore. It is bad for me. I can't make some one else happy and I know that but I can state what I want and do what I want. I can't be the pleaser/controller that tries to make sure everyone is happy guy. It is time to change. Not with anger but just because I need to do it or my resentment will never go away. Just wallowing around waiting for my W while being ok with her actions is not working for me. This is a 180 for me if I really think about who I was before.