Not Being A Victim

[BklynMom]

We went to an Alanon meeting tonight. After the meeting we spoke a little and H asked me if I think he belongs in either AA or Alanon. It was a question I was not prepared to answer, it is something that he needs to answer for himself but he is so not ready. It was clear to me after this meeting how bottled up his emotions are. He is looking for a check list to see if he qualifies for these programs rather than listening and looking with in. Its very sad.

He keeps on asking me what to do next. I told him for the third meeting he should go by himself that maybe he would hear something else without me there.

I think I am going to prepare an email to him - answer some of the things he asked me tonight, then I can decide whether to send it or not.

Going to meetings with him is definitely helping me let go. If he cant see the changes in me, if he isnt attracted to the serenity that I taste and the huge "work" I have done - I am not interested in him.

By the way has anyone read the newsweek article about Mary Kennedy - its such a tragedy. I believe I could have easily become her. 10 more years of my disease and I would have been dead from something.