Lost

[dscl]

So today was a good day. Only sent the W one txt and it was to tell her that I would not be able to go to dinner, but that should not stop her and D from going, asked her to let me know what time she would be here and I'll make sure that D was ready. She txt back, OK be there around 6:30. When she got here, I was outside taking the trash to the curb, I was ready just to say hi and walk back into the house but she walked up to me and gave me a big hug, I just said hi and that D was ready. They got in the car and left for dinner. About two hours later, they come home, I'm doing some work on the computer D runs unto to me and gives me a hug, W says hi I say hey. On her own she walks to the laundry room and starts emptying the cat's litter box,

I tell her that she did not need to do it that I would take care of it, she says it's OK, I'll do it, I thank her and walk away. After she is done she joins me in the living room and starts a little chit chat, I listen, don't say much just nod my head and ask a question here and there. Then I say, I'm thinking of driving D to NYC at the end of the summer to visit family, she says oh, that would be nice. I ask her are you talking anytime off this summer? she says I think so, I reply with what are you going to do? She says not sure, and I just end it with OK. She had the look of she thought I was going to ask her to come with us, in my mind I think,sorry this is a family trip and at the moment you are not part of it.

Some more idle chit chat, I get up start cleaning up a little (the universal sign to a guest that it's time to go). She well I guess I should be going, I say Ok, but before she leaves she says I would like to take D out tmw night, do you think you could go? I tell her not sure got to see how much work I finish off tonight, she says OK bye, I say the same while sitting on the sofa and she lets herself out.

Now before yesterday, I would have been so excited thinking she's coming around!! this is almost over!!! but not today. I see thru it now, she is always extra nice when she comes over, but always goes back to the OM and then ignores me for the rest of the week as I think that this is a glimmer and I start reaching out with txt that she never answers. Not gonna happen now.

No more texting or calling from my end, if she does reach out tmw to see if I would go out, I will wait to end of day before replying that I can't go, but if she follows her old MO, I'm sure I won't her from her till next week and I'm find with that!

Feels good not to be on pins and needles thinking and over thinking how the night went and if I made any inroads on the R (notice I did not mention the R the whole night).

Baby steps.