Navy I think you did great. From here give her lots of space and and time. She must be an emotional wreck right now, so don't expect a proper response. You don't want her making large decisions on anger, or depression. That being said here is what I expect.
Expect her to stall, I still don't think she wants to leave the m. She needs to be able to escapegoat you, so she can avoid facing her own demons. So expect her to stall. If she was being resentful, expect outright belligerence. This because she wants to make you the bad guy, again to avoid personal responsibility. She could also try to call your bluff by making a lot of noise about divorce but not actually following through. I recommend you talk to JAG, maybe even get a "divorce packet".
The key I think will be to be as civil as possible and remind her that her actions have pushed you to this. Here is your mantra.
"I'm not pursuing this because I hate you, I actually want to work things out. I'm just don't think I can make you happy, so I'm giving you your freedom. "
If she gets angry just calmly tell her: "see I bring out the worst in you, I don't want to live with someone that dislikes me this much".
It's important that you yourself do not get emotionally embroiled, although she'll try do drag you down. As I was told don't jump in the pit with her. If she decides to throw herself in let her, and don't go after her. Also do not offer unsolicited help to get her out. Let her learn how to get herself out of the pit (handle her own emotions).
Don't press her for an answer, but be available to talk. If after about 2 weeks you don't hear from her, hand her the divorce packet. Prefill your stuff. It's important she realizes you are not going to play indecisive WAS games indefinitely like her.
If you are lucky somewhere along the way (preferably before the D) she'll snap out and say "what the heck am I doing?! I'm about to completely ruin this" and turn around. If not keep going forward, it's for the best.
