Here's the thing. What needs to happen is SOMETHING needs to change. What the results will be? None of us know UNTIL you try it. Then, let's review the results. One time will not make a change. It needs to be consistent, over a period of time.
Lets just say that MAYBE things would get worse. Then you can always go back to the original way, or a new way can be tried.
What HE (likely) KNOWS, is that when he triggers, he probably comes at you in order to feel better (it serves him). You're removing the ability for him to serve THAT need through you. He'll find a different way to vent, rather than venting on you, because you are choosing not to play his game. It is his choice to trigger on what sounded like a very valid response from you.
Originally Posted By: Crazyville
BTW, what exactly is the 48 hour rule?
48 hours before responding to what appears to be a direct question or request for advice.
Many things can happen in that 48 hours. He might solve his own problem. He might decide that it is not a problem. He might even decide it's not a hill he wants to die on. (ie. Arguing with you, so he may approach you in a more constructive way.)
And yes, Accuray's suggestion is also a great option:
Originally Posted By: Accuray
Here's how I would have handled it FWIW: I would have asked H what he thought you should do about it -- i.e. don't answer his question, turn it back to him, then just engage with him on discussing his ideas in a supportive way. Really, it's his problem, and you're not responsible for solving it, and he may not really want you to. Chances are he just wants to be listened to, and to feel that he engaged to work with you on something. If you view that as his real objective, then the answer to his question doesn't matter at all.
A couple reasons I did not put that up:
+ first, I did not have the time
+ second, too many options means the possibility of doing nothing
+ third, I simply want to be SBT rather than discussing the pros and cons of any particular sitch or possible option. SBT is "there is no bad choice. Only lack of doing. Results are monitored and SBT course corrections are made."
