My mom used to have a phrase "don't cast your pearls before the swine" it comes from a bible story I think. But basically don't give your wisdom to people who won't understand it.
Those people pressuring you to D, or think that you should be more vindictive and less forgiving towards your S are operating at a lower level than you. And if you try to explain to them, you're only really wasting your breath.
It happened to me two weeks ago and everytime I would explain to a friend why I/we were doing something her response was "Okay, but what are you getting out of this?" "So he's moving in with someone and you're still supposed to be apologizing for stuff in the past" The point is I don't see things that way anymore. I am living my life differently and so there's not reason in explaining to them "being still" or "detaching with love" or just waiting to see if there's a chance.
The idea of being that vulnerable scares them and so they think we are strange to choose to be "not in control" and that we seem happy and calm about it.
