he had on these huge mirror glasses, and didn't take them off - i was in the back and he called me because he wanted me to know exactly how little s had eaten for lunch. i did walk up to him ready to have a relaxed conversation, but he kept those things on and all i could see was his lower face and the tension there - and i just walked back into the living room casually to get away.
we actually spoke to each other from those 2 positions for a minute more.he didn't step into the doorway - he usually does that. and i was like - okay full withdrawal again who cares.
his mustache is off and he's feeling too exposed - so today he's adopted the sunglasses like a wall.
i glanced out the window and saw him walking to his truck looking slightly defeated - his body language.
in that moment i actually really didn't want to be near him at all. not out of negative emotion, but out of the more positive emotion toward myself: this person is not good for my energy right now, i want to stay in my good space and his vibes are not matching up to mine, so it's better for me to move away.
i just felt sadness to see where he is - where he's keeping himself and where i don't need to be. i look forward to him finding out what it means to really love himself. i'm finding out what it means for me and it's very different than i thought it was.
keeping on directing the love to the right place
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
