Don't forget that you also did the best you could, given the inadequate tools you had at that point. We hurt people because we are hurting, because our needs aren't being met and we don't know how to get what we need in a healthy way.
To go back to your title, I think the best way to deal with the guilt is to become a person who knows better than to behave in ways for which you'll later feel guilty; once you feel sure of and proud about your changes, you'll have compassion for your earlier self.
But all this is a process--don't lose heart while you're still in the early stages, just know that your feelings will change over time and things will definitely get better. (((hugs)))
