CV, you know I'm reading "His Needs, Her Needs" and you've read it too. One of the 10 core "emotional needs" outlined is "Financial Support", and it says that's a common one for women. If you feel your resentment is triggered by the fact that this is a top need for you and he's not meeting it, then that may beg a different course of action.
In that case, once you get things on a better footing, I think you have that discussion and start a negotiation process with him to get that need better met.
It's interesting to me because you and your H seem to agree on the goal -- both of you want a better marriage, more respect, less criticism, etc.. You're perfectly aligned on the fact that you want something different than what you have now. That's good, that means you're both motivated to work on it.
The next level down you're not aligned, your vision of having your needs met is in conflict with some of his vision of having his needs met, and that's where negotiation comes into play.
In my sitch, we're not aligned on the goal -- I want a better marriage and W wants to leave well enough alone -- that's a fundamental disconnect that causes my actions to tend to spin in circles.
I think you should view it as a positive that you and H share the same high level goal.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
