I haven't posted to you before, but it is really important not to take yourself at your MLC spouse's evaluation of you. If you had worked his story would be that you put your career ahead of you family, or some such. They are in their own version of reality, and will twist and alter everything to fit this.
The MLCer has to be right. If they aren't, even in any small detail, their whole world crumbles. They might even say they aren't sure, but watch what they do. They act as if they are right. Gradually they convince themselves they are right, and the long journey away from their family is underway. Some of them wake up and realise they are making a colossal mistake, but not many.
That is why it is absolutely pointless to argue. Imho not arguing has nothing to do with DBing, which we do largely for ourselves. From the point of view of the MLCer being right about their terrible actions is all that counts. If they were normal they would talk about it, stop blaming us for everything, and show some concern for the inevitable outcome of their actions. They don't.
They need to believe that they had no choice. They had choices. No one made them do this. Please stop blaming yourself. None of us is perfect, and if your husband had wanted you to work, he needed to tell you this, and disucss it, rather than making it into a pathetic excuse for abandoning his family.
