Swimming with Turtles pt 2

[zig]

But to hear from you, in such an open and honest way, about the problem is something that has helped me enormously.

when i wrote about it this morning - i was raw -and so ashamed - it felt as if i was baring my soul - and i was so afraid of being judged.

when i admitted to my mother last night that i was so angry about s seeming so happy about h's new house - she was shocked that i could even begin to think he was happy. she pointed out to me that he was just a child and in a lot of pain.

could i suggest to you that instead of approaching it with your d from the place where you are only seeing her behavior (as i was seeing my s's) you start with a beginners mind and see her as a child - your child, who loves both of you very much and is in a lot of pain and needs your loving presence?

that;s what i went back to after my mom pointed it out to me. and i just decided that there was no point in projecting MY feelings about h and his actions onto s - that it was my job to separate them and also my job to love him unconditionally.

we have to DB with everyone, not just our WAS's. because i'm finding now, that no one in my world is reacting to this sitch the same way i am, and i was starting to find reasons to resent and be angry with them all.

yesterday i saw the risk of losing the connection with my own son, because of what i was feeling and saying. that woke me up real fast, and made me separate things as much as i can.

you'll be okay - as ces said to me - no one prepared us for this. it's okay to make mistakes, and as labug said - the actions that come after - they are what counts after you realize what you are doing.

thank you for making me feel good about writing about this here- and you will figure out the way when you start from a place of love for your D. i can hear the kindness, love and caring in your words - so you are already halfway there:)
trust that you will find the right way to connect with her.
((( )))
zig