Hey WHG - good to hear that you are doing so well and that you are finding opportunities to stay connected to your step-children. One observation and something for you to consider.
Your W sure does spend a lot of time unloading her daily stress onto your shoulders. For a married couple that would be perfectly fine given appropriate boundaries. For a couple moving towards a D, it is inappropriate.
When your W begins launching into her daily rundown of daily work stress, perhaps you could tell her "W, you know when we were living together as a family, I was happy to listen to your work stories. But now that things are different, I'm really not comfortable being that sounding board for you any longer."
By setting this boundary you will potentially free yourself from having to be on the receiving end of her rant every time she sees you and her not reciprocating like a supportive spouse would normally do.
Cutting off her emotional crutch may force her to realize at a deeper level one more thing she is giving up by giving up on your M. And, you will also be able to more effectively detach.
Just something to consider.
Take care!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
