Take some deep breaths. Go out for a walk and then put together some notes for your call with Chuck tomorrow. Don't talk about R even if it's natural. Change the subject or have a reason to leave the room. Don't try to do things with H now unless he asks. Your description of your conversation is full of pursuit. Go back and read the 37 rules.
I am beginning to think there's no point in even trying anymore.
No trying is HARD! DBing is Hard. You need to learn this or it will continue to plague you for the rest of your life. Your marriage VOWS are for better or worse. This is WORSE, they don't say when things get worse I will quit. Trying to do 180's is not natural.
He doesn't think there's hope. I can't see there being hope. I will speak to Chuck tomorrow and hope for the best. We are seeing the MC Wednesday. I'm going to an IC next week.
I... yeah, my emotions are everywhere. I'm not at the point where I can really improve myself. I'm just trying to fill my schedule up with things to do all week. Today I was too exhausted from the flights and traveling, but hopefully the rest of the week will be busier and will help me be distracted.
Before we went to sleep last night, husband took all of his clothes and hung them in the bathroom so he didn't even have to come back into the bedroom this morning. I didn't even know that he had gone. This is so strange. Not even two words to me.
