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You can make the choice to deal. The choice is yours - stand up and get stronger from this experience or wallow in your own self-pity.

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I scheduled an appointment with Chuck for tomorrow night. I am looking forward to it.

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How do I approach my husband tonight when he comes home from work?

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I am exhausted from the 6 hour trip to get back here. Would it just put him off if he came home and I was asleep? I am exhausted.

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sd, as long as you tie all your behaviors to H, you will not be able to detach. "to disengage and separate or remove" (from the dictionary.

pretend he's a roommate. do what you would do based on that type of relationship.

stop worrying about HIM. you are driving yourself crazy (and i might add, some of us who keep telling the the same things over and over...no offense crazy)


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

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I'm sorry.

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Oh, sd, don't be sorry. What I said was meant to get you to listen. This is hard, I know. I don't want to add to your pain. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.

Please know I do care about you.


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

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Thank you, scaredsilly. I really appreciate it, the "tough love."

Husband came home after not seeing each other for a week and a few days. Asked how the flight was. I told him it was fine, I was just resting today. He asked if I was going back to work tomorrow, and I said that I was. I asked how his day was, he said it was fine.

He asked if I wanted anything at the supermarket. I told him I was fine, and would just get anything that I needed.

After this, he went right into the bedroom, since I'm out in the living room, reading a book (something I haven't done in a LONG time).

Now, something is up, because he is on the elliptical. This man has not exercised in forever. He HATES exercising. This is so perplexing. Is he doing a 180, also? Like, I don't even know what to think now.

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Don't think. You'd just be trying to read his mind.

Maybe you should take a walk? Go somewhere and be around other people. If you want to read, go to one of those book stores where they have coffee and those big, comfortable chairs. Lots to read and look at there.

Just tell him you have to go out for a while and you'll be back later. Say everything to him with happiness and confidence in your voice.


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 293
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Well, basically, I asked him how to use the TV. He came out and said that he was going out to help his supervisor install some cabinets. I wonder if he has something going on with her. But I'm not sure. I have found no evidence of this and I believe she is much older than he is, anyway.

We had a R talk, which just kind of came naturally. We were both sitting her talking about the last few days, and he asked me what I was planning on doing (in terms of moving with my parents, etc). We discussed what it is, exactly, that he was feeling. He said that he just didn't feel we were on the same "path" so I asked him to elaborate. I wanted to know what it was he wanted from life or from a relationship. He just didn't know.

He really didn't say anything that meant anything concrete. Just a lot of "I don't knows" and "I know this is hard" and "I've felt this way for a long time." I said that maybe marriage counseling would help him figure out what he was going through. He said he'd go into it with an open mind.

I asked him if I could sit next to him, and he said no. He didn't feel comfortable. He said he felt like I was grilling him, but I apologized and told him that that wasn't what I was trying to do. I tried to validate his feelings and tried to tell him I understood and that I appreciated all that he did while I was gone and that he was sharing openly with me. He took care of the entire apartment this week and washed the sheets for me and washed my clothing. He kept telling me how much he cared about me.

When he left to see his "supervisor" he told me to have a good night. He said he'd try to go to the supermarket and asked me what I wanted. I name a few things and I said, "why don't we just go so I can look around myself" and he said that I could just go myself then.

I am so confused.

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