Well overall the weekend went well. He was here with the boys for 24 hours as we agreed and I went to visit my mom. He kept texting me the entire time which I found odd.
I'm thinking someone advised him to do this, to show he's being "responsible." If they didn't require a response, then you did the right thing in not responding, I think.
Very possible about being responsible. I thought something similar when he texted pictures of the yardwork he did and the flying ant issue I need to have the exterminator in for, he is probably recording everything
But just now I got an email from him and I have not responded. Based on his ongoing behavior, I feel like it is not real and just a tactic.
Last week on my birthday he threatened to move home and caused a commotion, then he was nice again. Now today is graduation and I am emotional and potentially vulnerable and here it is again. I simply don't trust him, and will refrain from responding (at least for a while)
I am frustrated that he chose today to send an email like this, and it feels like manipulation.
Ok I just realized how far I have come and that I am moving in the right direction. It helps that I saw my IC this morning too.
As I was walking one part of his email was ringing in my head
I know I made some bad choices, and I regret them more than imaginable and wish I could prove how sorry I am. I just want to make things right moving forward with you.
And my follow up thought each and every time is, actions speak louder than words. His actions have not and do not support this.
I am keeping on my healthy road, taking care of me and not giving this email one more thought.
And I got a nice long walk out of it Now on to graduation celebrations!!
Autumn, while I'm generally in favor of NO CONTACT unless it's something involving the kids, I also don't think there's anything wrong with OCCASIONALLY dropping a little "truth dart" on them:
H: I know I made some bad choices, and I regret them more than imaginable and wish I could prove how sorry I am. I just want to make things right moving forward with you.
Autumn: Talk is cheap, (Husband). You have broken so many promises to me already. Only consistent actions -- over time -- will mean anything. For your own sake, and for the kids, I do pray that you can pull it off, despite what's happened with our marriage.
I gave it some thought and I did respond to his email. I need to put the brakes on some of this communication. He acts one way with me and another away from me. I really prefer at this time that we keep most communication through L's. It is necessary for me to continue to heal and move forward. I expressed this to him, and said emails re: kids and finances are still ok (for now).
Graduation was nice, and we did have a moment that we bumped into him and his parents on the field for pictures. His mother made a few very inappropriate comments in front of my children and I finally had no choice but to respond.
The comment that was the final straw for me was to the boys directly "have a nice summer, don't know when I will see you again"
She lives 10 minutes from me. I said "well I certainly hope you intend to see them plenty over the summer".
I put it right back on her, that is BS. She may be able to bully and manipulate STBX but I will not have it, especially when my boys are involved.
Whew, that felt good
I had every intention of letting STBX take the boys to dinner afterward, but he scurried out of there so fast and never said goodbye to S18. Gave a quick goodbye to S15, no handshake or hug. Just ran out.
So my mom and I took the boys to dinner. After dinner, about 20 of S18's friends came over to sit in the backyard. I lit a fire in the firepit and let them hang out for a bit. It was so nice, and the boys thanked me repeatedly.
It really feels good to let some things go, and pick my battles. I can't fight them all and I sure don't want to. I may have to share this space until the end of the summer, but I have full say over my life regardless.
STBX heard through the grapevine (not sure how) that I was having a graduation party for S18 at the end of the month. After agreeing that we couldn't do it together, I made arrangements to have it on a Saturday that was during my weekend, at home. I sent out invitations and RSVP's were coming in.
Yesterday he emailed to say that he will really need the kids that day, as it is his nephews first birthday party and his family will want to see S18 for graduation. He admitted to knowing about my party.
His email was dramatic and manipulative to say the least. I didn't bite. I simply responded "sure thing, they just need to be back here by 2pm for his guests" and let it go.
He was supposed to have the boys last night and cancelled at the last minute. I made him tell them himself. He texted them.
But the boys made plans with their friends and had a good night.
Just trying to roll with each situation and I feel very grounded right now.
You have taken a very bad situation, and handled everything w/such poise... And, always putting your boys (and own) welfare first, without compromising the possible reconciliation path for your STBX.
He is truly making his own way.
You are pure good stuff. Your boys are lucky to have you.
Keep it up.
Happy Graduation to S18! Pics are great!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Now on to graduation celebrations!! 
