Rachael, One of the things that I am going to caution you about is not to pretzel yourself for your h. Pretzeling is when you jump through hoops to make him happy. Many of them will come up with excuses not to be w/you. For example, too skinny, overweight, not physically active, don't keep the house clean enough, don't show enough emotion, etc. In other words, once you get one complaint fixed, they will come up w/another. Live your life for you. Any changes that you make, make them for you...the changes have to be permanent and you have to be happy w/them.
Very few of them will admit they are depressed. They don't think that there is anything wrong w/them. They think it's the relationship, home, work, etc., never for one minute thinking that happiness comes from within and there is something not quite right w/them. God forbid you suggest that there is something wrong and they immediately will become defensive.
If you are looking for a job to fill your time, find something that you will enjoy doing. Don't take something just to be doing it unless you absolutely need the funds. Sit down, make a list of the things that you've put on the back burner over the years and see what you come up with. I bet there are a number of things that you may want to do now.
Read the postings of others as they will help you. Don't be shy and post to others. It's a community of good people who are at various places along the yellow brick road, but I can assure you, each and every poster eithe is or has been in the same position that you are now.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
