When it comes to the anger.. My hubby and I were apart living in separate houses for 4 months in 2007, He filed for Divorce 8 days later.and closed all our bank accounts......( I had some money tucked away....because things were getting bad really bad ) I left him but was basically kicked out of the house, we had been together since high school, going on our 24th wedding anniversary ( during this time apart )
The anger was the ONLY thing that kept me going....when I started getting lonely ( very lonely ) and there were no OP involved OM or OW thank god because that would have did me in... If I didnt stay angry i couldnt function. Where I had moved only 4 miles away the well shut down guess who came to help me..yep the same man that kicked me to the curb.....i had the hardest time when he was nice to me than when he was being ... Well to make a long story short......the Div proceedings lasted until April of 2008, right before we were getting ready to do the financial aspects of 3 business's and a long time marriage, I dropped the anger..got some wise advise from several peeps on this site and... ( of all things ) went on a beautiful camping trip together. ( MY Mom said to me This is the weirdest Div. iv'e ever seen " ) lol
It wasnt the most relaxing trip weve ever had still alot of tension and resentment on both sides Things were said that CAN never be taken back ( unfortunately )
He never agreed to MC...have been only one years ago one time and he would never go back the guy was an idiot...so once again I went to my therapists ( very pro-marriage ) and worked on myself....After all that do you know what the worst problem was??? LACK of respect for each other..................too much alcohol involved on both our parts...........and being able to just sit down and talk without starting an argument I learned to listen and keep my mouth shut..( not like a door mat ) but I learned to pick my "fights " wisely...in a calm loving manner....wow that changed about 36 years of doing the same thing over and over expecting different results ( Def. insanity ) Yes alanon helped me save my marriage also.
Well we are still together.......... married 29 years in August together for 42 yes 42 years, and I'm as happy as Ive been in a long time....working side by side in our business's and taking life on by the horns and knowing to let go when necessary. We never ever throw the big D word around because " been there and almost DID that "
We were never able to have kids but I'm soooo over that at my age of 56.....Gods will not mine.
so.... I guess im just trying to tell U things work out ( one way or the other...) and its OK to be lonely, angry, happy...They are just feeling and emotions they dont make U the good person that U are
