from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

So I showed up like I said I would, things didn't go as planned. He just gave me the girls, told me how beautiful I looked and then proceeded to Bragg about his day with ow. Not sure why he would plan a date and then act like that, perhaps to try and bust my 180 of going dark.

I held my own and followed all the rules.

Normally we don't see each other to switch the children, we just assume the job of picking them up from daycare. while I have been dark he had been coming over with his friend to drop them off. I'm ending that.

I'm going so dark he couldn't find me with night vision. I'm blocking his number when I have the girls. I will unblock it when he has them but will not answer my phone. He seems to be grasping for anyway he can to hurt me. Or perhaps I'm being self centered and taking his flip flopping personally.

I've got to pull waaaaay back and continue to focus on myself here. You could say I'm doing Michelles after the last resort technique. She warns that it could end the marriage, but hell, he already filled a few days ago.

I held my 3 year old tonight while she slept and I cried. I told her I was sorry that I could not give her a "normal" family, and admitted to my part in it. I then promised her that I would give her what I could the best Mommy I could be. I promised to be as mature as possible in this situation.

I know it's ok to be divorced and the M can end and my girls can still be happy, it was just something I wanted to tell her.

I've continued to flip flop, I know. Right now I'm letting go, honestly. Maybe ow is the one for him. I wish him the best.