"is an accident after having run a red light! I think to myself, could things get any more insane around here?"
I know that detachment is recommended but IMO every scenario is different. If I had gotten the call that my son and wife were in an accident and the car was totaled I would have also went to the scene - no matter what my situation is with my wife.
Question -- why did your wife run the red light ? I know she had some medical issues -- amd was wondering if this could something caused by her condition. I ask because she has your kids with her in the car -- as well as herself. Maybe when you are alone with your son -- you can ask him. Just my 2 cents.
