ncl, I particularly wanted to reply to say thank you for keeping on helping me out. I think of you often and pray that things are going well for your family.
That you come back to check up on me like this means so much. You've a been a great support for my whole journey - your's was one of the first replies to my initial post and right then I knew that I had met someone special (your kind words made me cry).
Hearing from you over the months about your own sitch in parallel circumstances has helped me keep going.
So, thanks for reinforcing Busto's words with your own experience. It all helps get things through my thick skull..
I need to enforce boundaries, I need to enforce boundaries. I need not to be so afraid that I'll drive him away; he is already gone.
He is gone and there's nothing I can do about that.
But, here comes my 'but': He did look ashamed and embarrassed when our friend caught his eye as he was sashaying around with OW on their trip. He didn't speak to our friend but just looked away, hoping she hadn't recognised him, apparently.
Just thought I'd throw that in to prove that my excuses for him - that he is ashamed and feels guilty about what he's doing - are valid ones that have been driving my attempts to detach but remain in contact.
I'm trying to walk the line of showing him that he has not gone so far as to be at the point of no return. That I do not consider his actions to be so shameful that he can never come back. It's all about shame and failure for him, I'm sure, so I am trying to navigate this path, if that makes any sense.
