Uh Oh! Messed up again. Had a lot of time by ourselves yesterday which resulted in long talks. Just when things seemed to be positive, they would crash. I tried to use reason, such as why don't you stay around and try to work on this, if it doesn't work, there is always apartments available to move to. She said she already bought some furniture to be delivered. I said we could put it in storage until we figure out she would move out. No go.
She told me she has done this before and the problem is that I she needs romance, she only needs to be told she's pretty and I must not be able to meet her needs. (There's more to it than that.)
I told her I can deal with her moving out to work on herself, to work on healing, emotionally and physically. However, I can't stand the thought if she is moving out to be romanced or try to find someone. Her response was that she couldn't make any promises, that her INTENT was to get out where she could think. She said it could be me that romanced her down the road, if I would have her. I told her I might not be able to overcome feelings of suspicions down the road. Based on the past, I know that when she came back, she was very apologetic, sorry she hurt me, etc and bent over backwards to let me know where she was and what she was doing.
We still sleep in the same bed. Last night, while we were laying there quiet, she put her hand on my chest and asked if it helps. Was I ok? I said not really and we started another long talk. The conversation got off track on past bad issues, ultimately went downhill and she said "this is why I want to get out of here."
All I know its going to be bumpy this week while she is still in the house and very lonely next weekend when she moves out.
Very depressed right now. I have a lot of things to do but don't want to do anything. Especially while she is here in the house over the weekend.
