Hi Barb. Heard through the "grapevine" about Ryan. I am so sorry to hear about the problem. So overwhelming really, but you're strong and get through it every time.
I just wondered here, maybe it's a bit off topic. But did you ever think Chuckie just has a personality disorder? I've come to that conclusion with mine. I just don't even worry about him any more when stuff comes up -- so much that I think I figured out in hindsight just makes me less and less concerned about keeping him in the loop about anything and even caring about what he thinks or wants.
Of course, easy for me to say. I don't have a disabled adult child to worry about. But the whole thing became crystal clear for me this past Christmas when my mom passed. Ex just didn't care, didn't say anything--even to the kids, nada. But he raised a ballyhoo when his dad and grandparents passed about what I did or did not do. I realized then it was just about him and what he wanted and his need for attention. So I let it go. His mom came to my mom's funeral though--very sweet and lovely lady. I have a hunch his family knows his problems, even the kids. One of them told me recently, "asking dad to do anything or getting him to call or communicate is like poking the sloth." This is the guy too who, when one of the kids decided to get married, reamed her out very meanly when she called to tell him and then had to act like the proud daddy and get all the attention on him at her wedding.
I really have come to believe my ex is just a self-centered, piggish, attention wh()ring fool. If he can't make it about him, then he won't bother. Can't do anything about it if he doesn't want to be a normal human being.
Hope you're getting some rest and that Ryan is doing better. I always am amazed at how well you do deal with all of this. Keep putting that positive effort on you and your family. Don't give Chuckie another braincell's worth of space in your head.
