You're not ready to move on. What you need to do is stay still.
When Cadet says that you W is giving you the gift of time it means right now your M is in limbo so you need to use this time wisely. She didn't tell you about OM, she didn't tell you she wanted to end it, she said she'd go to MC and you have given her loads of ultimatums. I'm not sure on the whole letting her live there while she's in a R that began before you split. But I do think that any time you bring up OM or your M you are putting pressure and putting her in a position to make a choice.
Give her space, give her time, and give yourself space and time. She needs to miss you. And you need to sever ties as much as possible so she knows what it is she's really choosing. When things come up like D's swimsuit resolve to do whatever you can to solve the issue without involving her. GAL, keep working out improving the house and your appearence, let her notice your changes don't bring them up. Be polite and happy when you're around her but not like a H. Take and honest look at what you did in the R and how you'd like to be a better partner in the future whether to her or someone else.
We have all been there...for me it was sobbing on the side of the house when I told S I was going out for a smoke, when I had panic attacks, stalked his FB page, begged, pleaded, thought my life was over...it will get better. You will find a strength you didn't know you had. The aim to be a person that only a fool would leave. If you can better yourself it will cause a change in your R, because old patterns can't be repeated if both partners are the same. The knee-jerk reaction is to lash out in anger and resentment but you have to keep the road home paved smooth if you want at the very least to have a good co-parenting R with your W.
Keep posting you'll come off mod and if you continue to post people will come and reply.
