This site worked for me!

[strongerthanever]

nodephi~making the S face reality is seriously needed. I have forced my H to do so several times ie, no, we will not have joint birthday parties for the children, ect. His response later? That he wished he could have been there. I replied "it's ok, it's just our new way of life". Then he admitted, I know, I don't like it".

Making them face reality, which is a by product of going dark, helps so much. It gives them a glimpse into the future of what their life will be like should they decide to continue with their current state of mind.

just some food for thought...