hey ces - i like what you wrote in your post to roro
could you tell us what actions/steps helped you?
roro - just a thought, and i hope you don't mind me suggesting - but those conversations about ow that you describe, sound a bit confrontational to me while your h is almost using it as an opportunity to throw ow in your face and see how much you can be provoked.
i was advised recently to act as if i don't care about the ow at all - we are both showing we care too much about the ow - you through your open conversations with h where you ask direct questions , me by laying a boundary months ago that he was to keep his own secret and i wanted to hear nothing about it (even though it affects our parenting)
so interesting how i see us doing the same thing in very different ways.
i am looking for a 180 in my sitch - in doing something different. how about you? could you see if/where you could "do something different" with this particular thing?
zig
Zig, thanks for your perspective. I don't feel that H is seeing how much I can be provoked when he's answering my questions. In fact most of the time he seems pained or something when he answers a question. Its kind of strange. Cheryl advised me not to mention OW. Haven't been doing so good at that.
I'll think about what you said. Maybe I'm missing something and need to step back to see it. Thanks!
