golf mom,
The comment that he made about feeling suicidal when he was at home makes perfect sense. Why? Many of them will state that they feel smothered or fear dying while being in the home. It's the depression and guilt talking. That's one of the reasons many of them walk out the door, i.e., they need to feel alive again and not have the guilt pounding on their door every day. You can call a hotline and speak to a professional bout the comment and gain some insight into the suicide talk and what to look for, but I think he may be beyond that now since he's out on his own. Again, pick up the phone and talk to someone about it. Just remember, you are separated and you can't make him go see someone or commit him for an evaluation. Now, if the man was living under the same roof w/you and he was talking about suicide, you could do something about him. You can ask the professional about what I've just posted as well. I know that I raised the question when my xh went crazy, but was told that unless we were together and living as man and wife, I couldn't do a thing about having him committed for an evaluation.

If you don't see any change by going NC, then it's time to try something different, but you need to stay away from relationship talks. Stick to what the children are doing as that is a safe topic. He's not ready to have a conversation about the relationship or reconciling. Safe subjects are the best right now.

Sounds like your h needs the "euphoric rush" to keep himself motivated. A lot of them are like that. One the newness wears off of something, he's then on to something else. My xh was like that and continues to be that way.

Your h's actions say quite a bit...you can't rely on what they tell your or anyone else...actions speak louder than words and it appears that he still cares very much about you and is willing to pick up the phone and speak to you when you all.

Golf mom, we have a saying around here, if something isn't working, then try something different. Maybe it is time for you to try something different...just stay away from relationship talks and see how it goes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.