However, it's not just her MOODS, in my opinion -- it's her BEHAVIOR -- toward YOU -- when she is IN one of her moods.
I think you should try to make a distinction between her just being in a MOOD -- and mostly keeping that to herself (pouting, brooding, etc.) -- and her BEHAVIOR TOWARD YOU when she is in a mood (scolding, belittling you to others (like her mother), hurtful comments, etc.
Do you see the distinction?
Starsky
Yes, I see the distinction. As far as Friday night, a behavior I would point out to her would be when she called me a deadbeat at the dance venue, because I failed to turn in a meal ticket. Everything else, I would call tolerating her mood, or not worth pointing out.
I have to remember that it's important sometimes for me to speak up, even when it's not validated by my W. I'm holding onto myself in the ballroom dance area. If we have further conversation on Friday night, I will remind her that she called me a deadbeat, and that I thought it was harsh for simply failing to turn in a ticket. I will leave it at that, feeling like I've said my piece.
My W is a verbal bully sometimes. In the past I've tolerated it, and allowed it to overly affect me, and would suffer in silence. I bought into her interpretations, that somehow I was failing as a H. I now need to at least speak up, not allow her to control the story, and let her know how I see things.
Thanks. I feel like I'm getting more clarity on the situation, and can make better choices on how to repond to today.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
