It's an Opportunity for ME!

[zig]

the disturbing dreams - you could use them as an opportunity for growth - as i've recently found out.

i had a really disturbing dream a couple of weeks ago - and was really upset from it so asked a couple of people - as well as listened to a couple of abraham hicks thingies on utube, on dreams

so the basic thing is that what happens in your dream is probably your fears manifesting. but then all these screwy things happen, and often what disturbs one the most is the emotion that one is feeling while all this is happening. i found that to acknowledge that the story line was not the issue, but the emotion i was experiencing was the message and to explore that and go from there.

a friend whose a therapist - suggested that the first question i could ask myself is 'how could i help others?" she said that question, when she's working with her clients, seems to set the mind off on a path that takes them to unexpected discoveries.

looking back i am convinced that that dream, and asking myself that questions and inspecting the emotion was pivotal in helping me make that last 180 and changing the pattern between h and myself, in terms of decision making.

so try to explore the emotions you were feeling in the dream - it took me a couple of days to be able to begin to deal with it - it felt too raw at first.



"It's been his pain vs my pain"

that is really what happened isn't it - one against the other, the crazy dance, where it's one person's turn and then the others.

h would always say to me that no other couple functioned that way - the problem was unique to us. if only he knew...

i feel that my h hid some of his core values from me too, and i think that maybe was the cause of the tipping point of the beginning of the crisis to start - they are sensing deep within themselves that they are not living authentically, and that off feeling begins to be directed at you, because you are the source of it (they fear , i think that if they stopped posturing, we wouldn't accept them)

on the other hand - brit i will point out - that sometimes when people are unhappy - they spend money to feel better.

before i married h i lived on barely anything and never had the need to spend money. by the 4th or 5th year, i had this slight compulsion to do so - it was a response to h's constant "we don't have any money mantra' that scared the [censored] out of me. i was puzzled why i had changed in an area which i had never been like that.

funny how after we walked out, i reverted really quickly to my old self and that urge to spend is totally gone. i think it was a symptom of one of the pressures i felt in the relationship. so it could possibly be that your h really wasn't that way when you met and you read him correctly, but something in r caused those dynamics to emerge.

just my rankling thoughts this morning

zig