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I'm sorry to hear about the accident. I'm glad your w's okay.

I think you made some small steps in the right direction. Kudos to you.

It's not easy breaking away the giver/taker dynamic. There will be alot of feelings the more you do this...

I agree with scared that next time try to validate her feelings if you can...

... but if you didn't know how or exactly what to say.. STFU is a good move.

As for if you wife is perceiving that as you being angry... that is mind reading.

I DO believe that if you change the dynamic, she will not know how to act and will try to come up with her own reasoning...

.. I'm witnessing that with my own sitch.

But if you are co-dependent.. than not rescuing her is a crucial step to becoming a healthier you.

And it doesn't really matter what she thinks about it.

M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.