In my opinion, it's not about the fruit, but it's very definitely about you.
Starsky
We stayed in last night, which was a welcome break from dancing and being together. She was on the phone complaining about me to her mother. I did apologize for losing her shoe (which I retrieved later). I could have taken better care of checking to make sure we had everything before we left, as her shoes were in my bag. It seems like the unspoken rule is she's allowed to be be moody and say what she wants, but I'm supposed to be pleasant no matter what.
I still think that if we're going to be dance partners, than my needs are important too. If we're going to take ballroom lessons, than I have to practice socially to improve and maintain the skills. She will need, for two hours per week, make the best of a social situation. I am willing to explore other venues to find one that fits her better, but simply stopping social practice is not an option. She always has the option of saying she no longer wants to take ballroom lessons, in which case it becomes a casual hobby, with no practice expectations. My mistake was allowing her mood to overly influence me. I was frustrated because she wasn't having a good time at the ballroom venue.
We talked somewhat about the evening, but the focus was on me. It was about how my behavior made her evening more difficult, and my failures throughout the evening. I gave myself space from the R, took the dog for a walk, and went to bed on-time.
I need to work on not being reactive to her moods, allowing things to be imperfect, and going with the flow of events, even when they're unpleasant. I'm working on it. I go to church weekly, and read religious books to help me find the right state of mind, so that I don't go back to old patterns.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
