LRT - Checking Progress

[LostIn407]

When I get down on my situation, I think about this song. My W sent me a text when this first started on how this was 'our' song. She quickly changed it to how it is 'my' song to her. But D13 tells me when it comes on the radio, she turns it up.

Jason Mraz "I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Journaling:

D13 decided to spend the night with a friend. D4 is spending the night with her grandmother. That means it is just W and D3 tonight, which means OM will be there. Honestly, I don't care anymore. She is cut off financially because this is what she wants to do. I am not going to stand in her way.

When she came to pickup D3, she sat and wanted to chat a bit. She asked me what I was doing tonight. I told her I had plans. She asked if it was with a male or female. I simply told her "I don't ask you what you do on your nights, so I won't tell you what I do." I asked what she planned on doing tonight with D3 and she said "I think you know what I am doing". I just ignored it.

I told her I planned on going rollerblading tonight but the weather didn't cooperate. She said she wanted me to call her if I go on Sunday. I won't. I am not her Plan B. She has nothing else to do tomorrow since OM is a work.

This week will be pretty dim/dark until Sunday when I take the Ds to an amusement park and W is going.

I think I am doing ok. I sleep fine at night and don't worry about what she is doing. I am worrying about myself.


Overall, I think I am in a better place. I don't worry about her and OM.