My story, my progress, my hope

[Tinman]

Thanks for all the advice. Cadet- I have DB on order and should have it any day. I already have a bunch of other books that I have been reading, 5 languages, Hope for the separated, winning your wife back, Love tactics, Love must be tough and soon to have DB added to the collection. I have read the 37 rules and a few other forums. It understands that there is no absolute right and wrong but there are some contradictions in some of the books. Some talk about setting up all these boundaries and being somewhat cold, while others like Gary Chapman's books talk about giving space, not pushing your spouse, not setting time lines, continuing to show them love with no expectations.
Truegritter, I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and provide feedback. I do get what you are saying but I am to the point that I think the bad behavior was mostly on my part. She had this group of friends prior and I knew all about them but she gave them up to try and make me more secure in our relationship. My kids and I were very needy and she gave and gave and I took advantage of that. Yes, I know that she has faults also but not sure it was fair of me to ask her to give up part of herself. She did not go out or see friends for over a year and she put her heart into trying to help my kids and me and in turn I was not there for her when she needed me. She has been so nice thru this whole process. I am sure in some ways it may sound like I am making excuses for her but her kids were getting the short end of the deal and I think that was a major part of her decision to separate. None the less I do get that I need to work on myself and focus on making my life better. My favorite quote I read on hear so far was "be someone only a fool would leave" Not sure who wrote it but it stuck!
Scaredsilly - Thanks to you too for your comments. It is good to hear from someone who might know her perspective. It is strange to think about all this stuff and realize home much pressure this put on her. A new marriage having to deal with blending kids on both sides, a crazy ex-wife, Custody battle and the financial burden that goes along with that and a husband that put so much in front of her. You are hit the nail on the head with the showing her that she is number one. I think that is the hardest part of this. I want to show her how important she is to me have tried to but at the same time I think instead it has come across as being needy and pushy but then how do I prove that she is "all that" when I don't see her.
We did have a nice time Thursday night. I picked up my girls and when we arrived home they text her to say hello (We only live about 6 houses apart). She came down to say hello and then asked about going out for dinner with her. We had a great time chatting and laughing. I kept it light and after I dropped her off she text me and thanked me for the nice night and she enjoyed being able to laugh. I responded back that I also had a good time and hoped that she enjoyed her weekend.
Lord give me patience!!! Again thanks everyone for your comments. It truly does help to get others perspective.